


Everyone Says I Love You

by thebermuda



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cramps, F/M, Fluff, Genderbend, It's corny, Rich is a lady, Snuggling, is that what that's called?, period, they act like they're ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 06:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2338454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebermuda/pseuds/thebermuda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richelle has her period and doesn't want Severin to come over. But he insists he won't make demands - and besides, he's bringing chocolate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone Says I Love You

He always called, never texted, which Richelle thought was sweet. It was more of a risk, as Jem or Seb were more likely to hear her talking through the walls and ask questions. But Rich liked to think that Severin just wanted to hear her voice. She certainly wanted to hear his. 

“Hey Rich. I’m still coming over in an hour, alright? Just call me to confirm that Jem and Seb have left by then.” 

Rich closed her eyes. Oh.

Today was that day.

Jem and Seb were going to Russia for three days, and Severin had planned to come over after they left for weeks now. He and Rich had never had three whole days to themselves before. 

Rich stifled a groan. If she could get up to look in the mirror, she was sure she wouldn’t see anything Severin would care for. Her hair was frazzled; she wasn’t wearing makeup. Her stomach was bloated and she had circles beneath her eyes from being up all night with the pain of cramps. If Jem knew, she’d try to make Rich exercise the pain away. But right now, unless it was a hurried trip to the bathroom, there wasn’t a chance of Rich forcing herself out of bed. 

“Um, actually…” Rich bit her lip. “Today isn’t a good day to come over. I’m sorry.” 

“Oh.” Rich was flattered by the disappointment in Severin’s voice. He always seemed so playful and aloof; she liked to think he actually cared, though. “Are Jem and Seb postponing the trip? Seb didn’t mention anything like that to me.” 

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t…feel that great,” Rich said. 

“You’re sick?” Severin said. Then added quickly, “I know how to make tea. And soup.” 

He said this as if tea- and soup-making skills were very special talents he was proud to possess. 

“I’m not really sick,” Rich said. “I have my period.” 

“I like period sex.” Severin didn’t miss a beat. 

Rich groaned at the thought. Her body was too bloated and sore for that to sound even remotely appealing. Normally she was as insatiable as Severin. In fact, they’d never not had sex together before, excluding the first time they met. 

“I have cramps,” she said. 

“I can bring you chocolate,” Severin offered. 

Was he really this desperate? Rich hadn’t seen anyone else since meeting Severin, but they never talked about monogamy. They weren’t exactly dating, and she’d assumed Severin had women and men lined up, eager to be with him. She didn’t like thinking about it, but she was sure she couldn’t be his only option today. 

“Severin,” she said firmly, then dropped her voice, lest her sister hear, “I don’t want to have sex today. And I probably won’t want to have sex tomorrow, or the day after that. I just want to sleep and watch movies and eat chocolate, none of which would be of interest to you. So I’m telling you this for your own good. I wouldn’t want to waste your time.” 

“I said I’d bring you chocolate,” Severin said. 

Rich was taken aback. She had expected Severin to hang up the moment she said she had her period. And if that hadn’t gotten him, then the, “I don’t want to have sex,” really should have. 

She had no idea what he was thinking. 

Just then the front door slammed closed. Seb always slammed it like that. 

“They just left,” Rich whispered, although there was no point in keeping her voice down now. 

“Perfect. I’ll be over in twenty.” 

“But Severin – ” 

“Hey. Kitten. We don’t need to do anything, alright? Watching movies sounds fantastic.” 

Rich sighed. “I’m serious, Severin. You’re not going to persuade me once you get here.” 

“Wouldn’t even think of it,” Severin said. He hung up before Rich could respond. Before she could accuse him of lying. 

  


He was, indeed, over in twenty. Rich was glad he had a key, because she wasn’t able to crawl out of bed to open the door for him. When he swung open her bedroom door, she grabbed her covers and pulled them over her head. 

“That’s the greeting I get?” Severin asked. She supposed he was right. He was used to her cookies-just-finished-baking-so-we-can-have-sex-now greetings. Or her naked-in-heels greetings. Or simply her blowjob greetings. Considering her past record, this probably wasn’t her best welcome. 

“I’m ugly today,” she declared. It was hot beneath the blanket, and her voice probably sounded muffled to him. 

“Hush. You’re gorgeous,” said Severin. She heard him walk around the bed to the other side. He kicked off his shoes. He set down a bag. She was just thinking about how his weight was going to sink into the mattress, moving her and therefore upsetting her cramps, when she heard him pull his zipper down. 

“Severin,” she said severely, finally coming up for air. She saw him just as he pulled off his pants. She averted her eyes. She had thought she wasn’t capable of being aroused right now, but clearly it’d been too long since she’d seen Severin. _God._ He was so impossibly handsome. 

“Please,” she said. “I really don’t want – ” 

“ – for me to be comfortable?” Severin asked. Just then, he leaned down to where she couldn’t see and, when he stood up again, was holding a pair of black cotton pajama pants. 

“It’s a pajama party,” he grinned, pulling them on. 

She giggled, relieved. There was something amusing about a man so large stepping into soft, loose pajamas. He shrugged off his tight T-shirt, too, and pulled out a long-sleeved, matching collared pajama shirt. Rich watched, fascinated, as he buttoned it up. 

“I never took you for the type of man to wear matching pajamas,” she said, and added, “Or pajamas.” 

“Yes, well. Seb thought these would make an amusing birthday gift. I, personally, never miss an opportunity to be comfortable.” 

“I thought you never miss an opportunity to have sex,” Rich said. 

“One or the other.” He was surprisingly careful as he got into bed, moving slowly so as to not shift the mattress. He stayed on top of the duvet, not crowding her or touching her. He must have perceived the surprise on her face, because he chuckled and said, “I’ve had girlfriends before, you know.” 

Was she his girlfriend? She bit her tongue before the question spilled out of her, juvenile as it was. Of course she wasn’t. They were sex buddies. Two horny adults who happened to find each other particularly irresistible. 

It was just an added bonus that sometimes Severin could be truly sweet. 

“And I wasn’t joking about the chocolate,” he said. Once again, he repeated his process of moving very slowly across the bed. When he returned from reaching into his bag, he had two bars of dark gourmet chocolate. 

“I love you,” Rich blurted, eyes zoning in on the candy. Severin burst out laughing. 

“Hear that, _chocolat?_ I’ve known her for seven and a half weeks and she hasn’t said that to me. Lucky, you are,” said Severin. 

“Seven and a half weeks?” Rich repeated. Had he really been counting? 

Severin shrugged vaguely, avoiding eye contact, and said, “Would you like to watch a movie, then? Or would you rather sleep?” 

“Do you mean actual sleeping?” she asked cautiously. 

“Richelle,” Severin said. He reached out to touch her, and she tensed, feeling so sore that any touch could hurt. But his hand rested so lightly on her shoulder that it was only comforting. “I am very grateful to be a man. Because there is something twisted about the natural world when it takes an insatiable kitten like you and makes her prefer watching movies to riding my ready, virile cock.” 

Rich rolled her eyes and cuffed him. Severin laughed. 

“But I respect nature,” he continued, “and so movies we shall watch, or sleep we shall have.” 

“A movie,” Rich decided. But she confessed, “I might fall asleep anyway, though.” 

Pain had zapped all the energy out of her. 

“Your wish is my command,” Severin sing-songed. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. He stayed close to her for a moment, looking her in the eyes. Rich felt strangely pinned to the spot. She wished she’d been able to put on concealer. 

“I missed you,” he breathed. Then he got out of bed and left the room. 

Rich exhaled. 

So far this wasn’t so bad. She hadn’t had to make any emergency bathroom runs since he’d come, which was good. And it really seemed like he didn’t expect her to do anything she couldn’t. 

He took a bit longer than she’d expected to pick out a DVD from the living room collection. When he returned, though, he had three movies, two mugs of tea, and…

“A hot water bottle,” Rich said, reverence in her voice. She reached out for it as if she could get it from across the room. 

Severin made his way over slowly, balancing everything precariously in his arms. He set down the mugs and DVDs on her bedside table and handed her the hot water bottle. 

“I love you,” she said again. 

For a split second, she swore Severin eyed the hot water bottle, and his eyes shone with what looked startlingly like envy. 

Rich brought the bottle beneath the duvet and held it against her T-shirt. The heat soothed almost immediately. 

“Horse Feathers,” she said, seeing the DVDs he’d chosen. Two romcoms that she couldn’t imagine he’d like (Seb and Jem would certainly never sit through them with her), and _Horse Feathers._ “I love the Marx Brothers.” 

“Excellent.” Severin grinned and popped the DVD into her television. The television in her room was small and rarely used, but it served its purpose now. After setting things up, Severin settled back into bed with her. This time she moved closer, so that they touched. Seeing this, he wrapped an arm around her. 

Her prediction had been right: She drifted in and out of sleep. She was exhausted from her sleepless night, but on occasion she awoke enough to watch Severin as he watched the film. He clearly knew all the lines, and his lips moved silently as his favorite parts came on. Occasionally she nibbled some chocolate and drank some tea. But, always, inevitably, she drifted off once more. 

When she next awoke it was to the sound of a strumming guitar. She was only half-conscious, too tired to lift her head, but she knew the screen would show Groucho Marx on a canoe, streaming down the river, singing _Everyone Says I Love You._ Ah, yes, here came the best verse. Richie raised her eyes, and saw that Severin was not lip-synching along. His eyes were on the screen, although his fingers idly wove in and out of her hair. 

Groucho sang, 

_Everyone says I love you_

_But just what they say it for I never knew_

_It’s just inviting trouble for the poor sucker who_

_Says I love you._

  


Severin joined in on the last three words. Rich knew he had a nice singing voice, and it revealed itself in three notes. He looked down at her, fingers stroking. When he saw she was awake, he cracked a smile. 

“Caught me,” he said, and kissed the top of her hair. 

“Caught you,” she agreed softly. She was so tired. What had she caught him doing? Singing? She wasn’t sure. She was so relaxed, as his soft touches to her knotted hair only helped coax her back to sleep. 

It was so lovely, having him here. Just like this. No sex, for once. Just a bed and two bodies clad in pajamas for the day. Just the smell of him, and the sound of his breathing, and the warm, soft look he got in his eyes when he looked at her. 

“Hey, Severin?” she said, eyes closed. For a moment she wasn’t sure if she’d spoken aloud or if she was already asleep and dreaming. 

“Yeah, Rich?” 

She snuggled closer, and his arms closed around her accommodatingly. She nuzzled his chest, getting comfortable. Sleep was moments away. 

“Caught me,” she whispered. She wasn’t sure what she meant, but it didn’t matter, because in seconds she was in a deep, restful place where cramps didn’t exist and Severin’s body kept her warm and snug.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the link to Groucho's verse: [youtube clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lCPmaq960E)


End file.
